Yo! I'd like to send a loud, Proud-Black-Woman (TM Dave P.) shout-out to all my homies livin in da ghetto!

I apologize.

I'm in a weird mood today. That happens when I stay in da crib - uh, I mean indoors - without talking to anyone. But I am being productive. I've been going through the junk pile in my living room. It's funny the artifacts you can dig up when you start going through your old stuff. I found some diskettes from high school - you know, those gigantic four-inch ones? I have to decide to either throw them out or turn them into art nouveau by framing them and hanging them on the wall. I can already hear the reaction of my four dozen or so socialite friends when they drop by for their usual martini: "Ah, Claude, how deliciously droll!"

Hmm. Maybe I should get back to work now.

What the fuck is happening to the weather? When I was growing up, there were seasons (god, that sentence makes me feel old). Now we barely have winter anymore. I mean, I hate winter with all my might, but shouldn't we be worried that it's this mild in February? Doesn't that mean the environment is getting fucked up?

In honour of this wonderful holiday, I am printing the first verse of lyrics from Nirvana's song 'Heart-Shaped Box'. Enjoy!

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for a week
I was drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

And that, folks, is what Valentine's Day is all about!

I ate an orange yesterday.
About a week ago, someone at work gave me part of his, and I couldn't believe how good it was. He told me it was a seedless Navel orange, so I went out and got one. This orange was a big fucker, not some wussy-type orange. This was a MAN's orange. Actually, by the time I got to the end of it, I never wanted to see another orange again.

Isn't my life exciting? Don't you wish you were me?

How did you enjoy my first posting?
Perhaps this one will make more sense.
I went to a dog pound for the first time over the weekend with Sterling. They had one dog. A very cute mid-size puppy. We opened the door to its cage and it jumped me. It was so excited to be let out that it peed on my boot. That turns some people on, but not me. Still, it made me want a dog even more.

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