"Kraft" spelled backwards is "tfark".

The score, after tonight's Survivor episode:
Neleh - down one point, for being so smug
Sean and Pappy - down a point each, for forgetting this is A FRIGGIN GAME
Pappy - down an extra point, for thinking he's better than Sean
Vecepia - even
Cathy - up a point, for suddenly being the most likable person on the island; I hope she wins the fucker.

WOO-HOO! I'm on the internet! And I can use my phone! It's a miracle! I'm an internet whore! Fuck me, internet!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Due to popular demand, pent-up anger wins over poisonously bad jokes. Go figure. So:
These fucking Sympatico people are driving me up the wall! Don't you just love the way salespeople make maddeningly complicated things sound so simple you'll think you'd died and gone to heaven? Over the weekend I ordered high-speed internet. The guy on the phone told me as long as I have a USB port, I'm fine. So today the package arrives and I start reading the instructions. It says I have to plug the ethernet cable into my ethernet card - WHAFUCK?! I quickly notice that no hole in my computer fits what's at the business end of this "ethernet" cable, so I call the fuckers. The guy starts by telling me I have the option between the USB method and the ethernet thingie. Then it sounds like someone wacks him on the side of the head with a gun, cause suddenly he's saying, sorry, no, the only option is the ethernet thingie, and I have to go buy an ethernet card if I want the high-speed pleasure to begin. At this point I'm ready to open one of this guy's veins and PISS in it. And what the fuck is an "ethernet card"? Does Hallmark sell those?

Wow, that was some display of pent-up anger yesterday.
Well, it's either that or jokes like this:
Guy picks up girl in a bar, takes her home. In bed, she notices he has a small dick and loses interest. He asks her why and she says it's because his organ is small. He replies, "I didn't know I was playing in a cathedral."

Your choice.

Can I just say really loud,
WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HOCKEY???!!! WHO CARES ABOUT STAR FUCKIN WARS???!!! WHO DA FUCK CARES ABOUT DOING A REUNION SHOW FOR EVERY F---ING PROGRAM THAT'S EVER APPEARED ON TELEVISION???!!! YEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH!!

Thank you.

...very sleepy...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz