I had a candy bar. That helped.
NO TAPE WORMS FOR ME, THANKS.

Ah shit IM falling asleep at my sdekss

Quote of the day, from Major League II, which I swear I haven't seen:
"Women: you can't live with them, and they can't pee standing up."

Has anyone seen the front page of today's Toronto Sun? Holy. Fuck. Get yourself a copy NOW. (This means you, Mike.)

"I woke up, and one of us was crying."
- Elvis Costello, "I Want You"

Wow.

Thank you, Kirby.

I woke up this morning, and really didn't feel like getting up. So I pulled up the blinds, to help wake me up, and what do I see staring back at me? The fuckin' MOON. Actually, the moon is the brightest thing out there. It's f---ing NIGHT out! How am I expected to get out of bed, when GOD IS STILL ASLEEP??

I hate it when talented actors who are not viewed as such confirm the general public's false opinion of them. To wit: Why, oh why did you decide to join Hollywood Squares, Alec Baldwin, Ellen DeGeneres and Burt Reynolds? Don't you guys know how much you shine in the right projects?
Which brings me to my second point. I realized recently that I often feel sorry for celebrities. I guess I see them as the underdog. I hope Winona Ryder gets off. I hope Robert Downey Jr. never gets arrested again. I hope Michael Jackson gets the therapy he needs.